Tales of Wit and Charm…

I know I said I wasn’t going to make any New Year resolutions, but it just sort of happened. I blame that bottle of Two-Buck-Chuck. I made two, and immediately shared them with RLO.

“I decided to make two New Year resolutions: 1) be nicer to you, and 2) to be more positive.”

“Wow, Sarah, your resolutions aligned perfectly with my New Year wishes.”

After hearing that, I really wish I’d have made the resolution to punch RLO in the face every single day. And I would have, but I really like having pretty friends.  I’m shallow like that.

RLO has always hated Daisy. His hate isn’t exclusively targeted at her, but all pugs. He’s an equal opportunity pug hater, also known as a jackass.

His Daisy hate is why the Christmas present he brought me last night was quite a shock. He presented me with two pug pictures to hang and a leash that lights up in the dark for Daisy.

It wasn’t his generosity that surprised me, RLO is very generous. The pug paraphernalia, however, is so out-of-character. There’s only one explanation: RLO is dying. He’s trying to make his peace with Daisy before he croaks.  Which I appreciate, but I’d rather he spend the extra time washing my dishes, doing my laundry and finally getting rid of his pesky friend Sugar. Don’t you worry, Internet, I’ll prioritize the rest of his life. That’s what good friends are for.

Yesterday while I was on the phone with Kelli I found out some very fascinating information.  No, they have not found a miracle cure for OCD, so she’ll still be vacuuming her backyard twice a week.

The news was even bigger.  Apparently she and my brother, Matt, went to prom together when they were in high school.  I had no idea.  I’m guessing I wasn’t informed because I hated her so much back then and would have found additional ways to torture both her, and my brother.

She was this close to being my sister.

I’ve never seen the pictures, so I have no proof of this date.  However, when she got engaged to one of Matt’s best friends he emailed her his best wishes.  By best wishes he told her to tell her fiancée he was going to kick his ass for trying to marry his prom date.  Something about breaking guy code.  This is where I get confused, I thought guy code was whoever drinks the last beer has to go get more beer, same goes for the last roll of toilet paper.

I hope Kelli and Scotty take their time setting a date, because there will still time for me to win her back.  Errr, I mean, Matt to win her back.

Since I gave up cheese fries there’s just not as much incentive to live, let alone leave the house.  Yesterday was a stay at home day. Not because I wanted to, but because leaving the house just seemed like too much work.

Later in the evening Daisy dog started getting really stir crazy. I unhappily put jeans on, put Daisy in the car and left the house for a whole 45 minutes to run some errands.  I checked the mail for the first time in days and found a surprise waiting for me. This shirt:

It couldn’t have been any more appropriate!  I, of course, took it as a sign to forget my other errands and went straight home to take my pants off.

Read my first column of the New Year: “That’s What She Said.” I’m sort of over resolutions so this column explains what I’ve decided to do instead.

I hope everyone had a happy and safe New Year’s Eve. I spent mine with good food and my BFFs. Couldn’t ask for more.

In honor of this year coming to an end, I’m posting some of my favorite 2008 blog posts.

I’ve also made it easier for you to share the posts you like, and please, please do! Sharing is caring. At least that’s what my mom always said in my childhood when I wouldn’t share toys with my brothers. I still don’t understand why hitting them with said toys wasn’t considered sharing. What? I was making them tough. That’s what older sisters are for.

Best of 2008:
Why the State of Utah Should be Paying my Therapy Bills

Saved

I Was Nearly Murdered

Medical Grade Vibrators

Super-who?

Possible TMI, Do Not Read if Related

Love

A big thanks to all of you. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to know I have complete strangers rooting for me, and laughing right along with me at all my ridiculous life mistakes. I’m so glad you’re here.